Family Update

I know it has been a while since I updated. Summer is flying by and up until last week, the kids and I were having lots of fun, doing all kinds of things. But I had my knee surgery last Tuesday. It has been a lot rougher than I thought it would be, but they told me it would be this way. I have to rely on my hubby and others for everything, and after sitting here for a week and day, it has gotten really old, I have about 3 or 4 weeks of this left, then it will get to where I can get up and try to use it, but it will take about 4 months for total recovery, but other than the pain and frustration, I can't complain, the surgery looks to have been successful and all went well during surgery. My husband is doing an amazing job taking care of me and everyone and everything else. He goes back to work on July 5th though and my mom will be stepping in while he is at work.

The kids are doing good. Blake is still loving Karate and Natalie is talking A LOT more these days. Even some small sentences. She does something new every day. I just can't wait to feel better so I can get back to being mommy. :-)

Summer :-)

So our summer is off to a great start! It started last Thursday with Blake's Kindergarten graduation where he got awards for outstanding behavior (this makes me very happy), physical education, reading acceleration, and outstanding sight words goals met. He is so very smart and so very well beahved, and athletic, more so than I realized. So proud of him, he is an amazing, well-rounded child. Bitter sweet though, because he is growing so fast! Sunday we took him to his first Atlanta Braves baseball game. He has always wanted to go, but he was too sick, or I was too pregnant, etc. All 4 of us went, and it was a blast, it was kids ultimate day at the park as well, so he got to do some extra special things, like participate in a parade around the field pre-game, get autographs, and run the bases after the game. He loved it!! I was proud of miss Natalie as well, she is only 18 months old and a very "routine" child. She takes her naps at certain times, bath, dinner, etc. is at the same time every day, but we were at the park form 10:30 a.m.- 5 p.m. and she didn't whine one time, she had a ball and she wanted to walk around herself most of the time, instead of being carried. It was a wonderful day. We have a lot of fun things planned for the summer, a summer reading program at the library, free kids movies at the theatre on Tuesdays, Blake just started Karate and Cub Scouts as well, and Natalie is going to do little tots gymnastics. PLus we have visits to the Aquarium, Six Flags, Stone Mountain, etc. planned as well. It's going to be a great summer, but I have been and plan to keep setting aside about an hour a day for Blake to keep up with his academics and reading. He loves it though, so not a problem!! :-)

Late Night Thoughts Stacy, the kids, and my knee

It is 11:39 p.m., not too late but late enough that the house is quiet and my thoughts wonder. The kids are asleep and Stacy (who works nights, so he is usually up pretty late when he is off) has had an absolutely exhausting week, and he is asleep too. Even the dog is quiet. It is a rainy, stormy night. Here I sit, icing my knee, and though my knee hurts, and life is crazy sometimes. I feel so utterly blessed. This week it was highlighted to me again, just what a hero my husband is. He amazes me. My kids are a wonderful blessing of life. Everyday they make me smile. And their daddy is just quite simply an amazing dad. This week alone, he had SWAT competition all week, all day long, starting at 7 or 8 a.m. and ending around 6 or 7 p.m the first night, he got home from it and a few hours later they got a SWAT call out, he was gone ALL night, I mean till 6 a.m. the next morning, and went back to the competition after a very short nap. All of those guys are amazing. They were all exhausted. Then today many of them, including Stacy, got up early to be at a 5k Run to benefit the Special Olympics and even after the exhausting week they had had, they ran out in the heat over 4 miles for these very special children. They are some very special guys! Shortly after that he had a training class to attend. He came home and you could see he was exhausted, and I said to him "GO take a nap" I knew he could surely use one. But he doesn't want to. He wants to see me and his kids. I can't put it in to words, but he never disappoints me as a father,not that he disappoints me other ways lol, but ya know he isn't the BEST house keeper, etc., but it seems that really doesn't matter to me most of the time, anything he doesn't do is so minor in comparison to what he DOES do. He is the most wonderfully amazing husband and father that I believe could ever exists. I am not the only one who knows it either. I hear a lot from other people and they are so right. There is never a day that I (nor my children) have ever questioned his love for us. He lets us know in every way how much he truly loves us.

I caught Stacy and miss Natalie in a very tender moment at the end of the day today. Snuggled up in his fav. chair, both asleep. It melted my heart.  We sure are proud of him for all that he does, but he was def. missed this week, though we support him all the way. So I think it was a nice way to end the week. He also played a couple rounds of Mouse Trap with Blake this evening, this has become Blake's new obsession, he loves that game, lol. They were def. in some need of some daddy time! I got to share some really special fun with Blake this week. Natalie and I got to attend the Field Day at his school. He had so much fun, and I was so excited to get to be there. I am also ecstatic about his upcoming End of the Year Program for Kindergarten! We just enrolled Blake in cub scouts and karate, and he is thrilled.

I went to the knee doctor (I have been having ongoing knee problems for close to a year, but intensely over the past 6 months- basically it is a mixed bag of problems all feeding from one another, my knee cap is dislocated, I have no tissues behind the knee cap, I have a baker's cyst as a result of all the fluid and I also have a small tear in my meniscus cartilage). I have been attending physical therapy, tried electroshock therapy, used the knee brace, tried walking in water, and every thing else they have suggested and my knee just keeps getting worse. It is limiting me in my daily activities, at 27 years old I feel like this should not be something I have to deal with. I can't even exercise without falling over in pain. Long periods on my feet are hard with it, taking the dog for a walk even....just every day life. So I have a decision to make. Keep trying these methods that appear to be to no avail, or have surgery. Sounds like a simple decision huh? I was ready for surgery, until he told me the risks. Apparently with this surgery there is a major increased risk for nerve damage and blood clots (I know, blood clots are a risk with any surgery, but is highly elevated with this particular one), the recovery is 3-4 months overall, the hardest part being 6 weeks before I could really function on my leg/walk again. I can deal with the recovery, though I will need a lot of help from family and loved ones with the kids..or really just Natalie. I am sure Blake will be a big help and Stacy can take off some time form work, but not an entire 3 weeks, much less 6 weeks. But I will find a way to get through, however the risks do worry me. I want to have surgery. I want my knee to stop limiting me. I mean, I do my best not to let it. My house stays clean, when the doctor tells me to let it go and rest my knee, I just can't do that. My kids are well taken care of by me. I still take them places and do things even if it hurts. But I want it to NOT hurt. I want my knee to be the last thing on my mind, not one of the firsts. I have put on weight since this knee thing began, and I fear I will continue to, because..though I get my stuff done, I don't exercise..I cannot. I mean it doesn't just hurt a little bit, it is unbearable and cause the conditions to worsen. My knee is quickly getting worse and worse from overuse as it is just cleaning and doing every day life. I certainly don't sit on my butt all day, but I don't go out for a walk just for fun. PT about kills me. My leg stays bruised up and down from fluid spreading. I just don't know what to do. I have about 3 weeks to make a decision. I am 99% sure I want the surgery, but what he said about the nerve damage and blood clots, I will admit, scared me. Nerve damage I could handle but the scary part to me was the blood clots. I just don't know....oh well I have blabbered enough..off to bed to snuggle with my sweet heart, he will be working the rest of the weekend, better enjoy it while I can. Back to an empty bed tomorrow night. :-(

Real quick..here are some pics from this week...

A Very Special Friend.

You know sometimes it gets really lonely at night when Stacy is working, after the kids have gone to bed and I am a lucky woman. I have many wonderful friends, some I have had since I was just a little girl.  I have a great sister and other family I know I can call if I need them. But I think each person on in our life has a special place. I would like to highlight one friend in particular at this moment, on those lonely nights, there is one person who always, I mean every night, takes the time to call me after the kids are asleep and the house is quiet and lonesome, she always calls to chat with me, and see how I am. We entertain one another, sometimes for 30 minutes, sometimes the chats last much longer. She understand being alone, as her husband used to work night shift and she is someone I can talk with...wait! I think I talk a lot more than she does, lol...she is someone who will sit and listen to me, ;-) I really appreciate this aspect of my life. It cheers me up when I am feeling down. She knows me and that I don't prefer the "quietness" when the day is done, I am not an "alone time" kind of person. Sometimes I think she probably has something better to do, but she calls me anyway cause she knows I need her. That means A LOT. I could say something special about each and every person in my life, but this is something that has become a routine I would not know what to do without. I love you Jenn and I appreciate you being there for me every night.

My heart is busting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so proud of my son!!! He has always been smart and he has always, for the most part, been well behaved (minus the terrible two's, lol). He has always been very special and most who meet him notice that. His hunger for learning has always been big, and I have always worked hard to teach him all I thought I could. It paid off. He got his quarterly progress report from school and it was awesome! He reads an average of 46 words per minute, exceeding the standard 30 words per minute, he can read over 300 sight words, and he has read more books than anyone else in the entire Kindergarten! He did well in all areas and she said his behavior and manners were to be modeled after! I don't know if it is the first part or the last part that makes me more proud! I have been reading to Blake pretty much every single night since he was just a baby and it planted a love for reading and learning. I need something like this today too...I have been feeling strange ever since Stacy's heated moment at work, that I told about in my last post. BUT he has to go back to work tonight, and that is just the way it is, thankfully he will get off at midnight tonight, he only has to work half a shift because he has SWAT practice all day tomorrow. So he will only be gone for 6 short hours, and back home to snuggle with me. :-) But it was nice for Blake to come home with such awesome marks! It was the highlight of my day today and takes away form the anxious feeling I am having about Stacy going to work.

What is a battle?

What is a battle? Some athletes consider going back out on the field or on the court, a battle. Some addicts battle their addiction. Some people battle feelings. Sick people have to battle cancer, disease, etc. And then we have our police officers who battle an array of things every time they put on that uniform. They choose to battle. It's a choice. No one made them do this, at some point in their life they wrote a blank check made payable to 'The People That We Serve and Protect', for an amount 'up to, and including their life'. That is honor, and there are way too many people in this country today who no longer understand that fact!

I always have known my husband's job is dangerous, but something happened this week that made it real clear. Everything is fine, he is a little banged up but he is ok. But the scenario could have gone differently, it had the potential to be very bad. I was listening to the scanner at that exact moment and I have to say I don't think I have ever been so scared. My days of listening to the scanner are over. You don't find out enough you only find out a little, and it is the little bit it takes to make you think the worst. My husband is in dangerous, scary situations everyday but without going into a bunch of details I can just simple say this one was different, more heated. I can't share all the details, and thank goodness it was the best scenario possible because my husband is smart and strong ;-) and he has amazing back up and good dispatchers. But it definitely made me think. Made me think that I wont nag him about not taking the trash out before he goes to work. I wont let that last moment, should it ever be, be bad. I will only give him the best part of me. I wont sweat the small things and I wont make a big deal out of little things. I will appreciate him more and love him even harder. Will you do these things for the one you love? It shouldn't take a scary situation to make us realize we should always strive to be kinder, more loving, and cherish every moment. Police officer or not, you never know when the last time will be. NEVER. Treat every moment as if it is your last.

What Do You Spend Money On? 22 ounces of frangrance

Everyone, well not everyone, but according to statistics, MOST people have SOMETHING they splurge on that is completely unnecessary. I don't do this often. Before I had kids and lost my job of 10 years, maybe I did it a little more, in fact before I got married and had kids, I was a shop-a-holic! BIG TIME. My husband (boyfriend at the time) had to cut up my credit cards after I was in over my head. Those days are long gone, but we all (or as I said, MOST) have something they splurge on when maybe they shouldn't. But we are all perfectly imperfect, are we not? Some get manicures and pedicures. Some have a fascination with jewelry. Shoes are a common one, as are clothes. Some people collect things and that is their "splurge". I do spend a lot of money on my kids in general, but I think we all do huh? And when I say a lot of money, I mean in the terms of I buy them new clothes before I buy myself. That type of thing. So if I had to say something I truly splurge on for myself, it would be Yankee Candles. I absolutely have a love affair with those candles and refuse any other kind. Do I have the kind of money to be so picky? Nope. And would I buy them if it meant other things would go suffer? Heck no! But if I have some extra money just for me...that is where it is going, and my husband knows if he is in search of a special present for me, nothing will thrill me like those 22 ounces of fragrance, lol. My favorite scent at this time is Blueberry Scone. YUM! SO..what do you spend money on?